Ten Things You Missed This Week #4

1. As someone who is against film piracy, I find it baffling that movie studios – even with their perpetual misunderstanding of both technology and human nature – still do everything they can to encourage it. Their latest stroke of idiocy is unskippable piracy warnings on DVDs and Blu-rays. Unskippable. So, the only people this annoying practice will affect are the people who paid money for it. Is this correct? (My copy of Charlie Wilson’s War has, for some baffling reason, a four minute film that can’t be skipped or fast-forwarded with Gwyneth Paltrow talking about Africa. Four minutes. And that’s before you get to the piracy warnings and endless trailers. It may seem like a small deal, but nobody is working harder to drive people to piracy than the very people who claim they want to stop it.)

RT @TeganMH Researchers have found examples of 37,000yr old caveman porn, proving that just like modern day man, they too forgot to delete their history

2. George Lucas is a legend. I know that’s not the sort of phrase you expect to read in a post-Phantom Menace world, but my apathy towards the Star Wars prequels is nothing compared to my love for what he just did. When the residents of Marin County told Lucas that he couldn’t build a studio on his property because they wanted the area to remain exclusively residential, he took them at their word. (via Kess Broekman-Dattner)

RT @jevoislafemme Did you hear that Joss Whedon’s mum called to ask him how ‘The Adventures’ was going? I find this indescribably sweet.

3. Someone needs to make a film in which a laid-back Californian surfer dude (played by Owen Wilson) swaps bodies with an uptight London businessman (played by Tom Hiddleston), if only so we can get an entire film’s worth of Hiddleston’s hilariously-accurate impression of Wilson from their time together on the set of Midnight In Paris. (Also featured: equally-great impressions of his Avengers co-stars Chris Evans and Samuel L Jackson.)

RT @houx If Bill Clinton was the first black president and Obama is the first gay president, I wonder what the first actual gay president will be.

4. For those who don’t know, Siri is basically an electronic personal assistant designed to run on an iPhone. It performs numerous tasks and answers every question you have, even if that question is incredibly inconvenient for Apple. (via Rhett Bartlett)

RT @aliciasometimes Lose weight following this one weird tip: have kids make you breakfast in bed & watch on as they eat every last bite…

5. I have to admit to being unfamiliar with the late comedian Patrice O’Neal, but this piece about him in the New York Magazine is truly fascinating, and makes him sound like one of the most original, dangerous and tragic comedic voices of recent times. (via Leigh Paatsch)

RT @P_T_RYAN I don’t object to much on moral grounds, but people who name their kids Jaxon (or variants thereof) ought to be pelted with rotten eggs.

6. Gay marriage is a hot topic at the moment, and much of the anti-homosexual rhetoric is once again coming from an annoying minority of disproportionately-vocal Christians (despite the fact that gay marriage was originally a Christian thing). One woman in Nebraska recently went in front of her government to voice her opinions on why gay marriage should be banned. But I don’t link to this video because of her. I vaguely recall John Cleese once claimed that the reason Fawlty Towers worked was not because of Basil, but because of how everyone else reacted to him. With that in mind, I recommend you watch the guy sitting directly behind Jane Skrovota as he reacts to her frighteningly side-splitting and outlandish claims. (via Chas Licciardello)

RT @AlbertBrooks People laughed at me when I kept my drachmas.

7. If 51% of the US population is made up of women, then why do they only constitute 33% of movie characters? And why do female protagonists make up only a third of that figure? Those numbers (and others contained in this article) show we have further to go than we may have assumed. (via CHUD)

RT @meganamram WHY was Mario Kart not called “Mario Speedwagon”

8. Megan Amram, whose tweets are fast becoming a mainstay of this column, is concerned about America’s national debt, and has launched a Kickstarter campaign to put the country back in the black. Find out how you can help!

RT @RossFloate When the Queen takes a pace towards the person she’s awarding a knighthood, I guess technically that’s also a dubstep.

9. During a late night writing session that was going nowhere, I was searching for opportunities to procrastinate, and a sixteen-minute commencement speech given this week by writing god Aaron Sorkin at Syracuse University seemed like the perfect opportunity. (It actually got me so fired up, I finished the very script I’d been trying to procrastinate from. He’s a wizard!)

RT @davidehrlich tonight’s episode of Mad Men is called “Dark Shadows.” so… DARK SHADOWS won’t even be the best Dark Shadows of the weekend. #Rough

10. Fans of the Mad Men should be warned: the last page of the final ever episode has been leaked by Jason Woliner. And it’s truly shocking. (Fear not, spoilerphobes: there are no genuine spoilers in there. And it’s not so much “shocking” as it is “hysterical”.) (via Simon Miraudo)

RT @rilaws Really dreading next season’s Fat Daenerys plotline.

Finally, you should take the time to sign this important petition to help save Melbourne’s iconic Astor Theatre. This isn’t just obsessive film fans trying to hang on to a place they like: it is impossible to overstate the importance of The Astor’s place in Australian cinema culture. It is one of the last institutions preserving film prints, often playing classic films in both 35mm and 70mm formats. (Ironically, they also have the best digital projection I’ve ever seen, with its state-of-the-art 4K system. Their worst images are usually on par with other cinema’s best images.) In a few years when absolutely nobody else is playing genuine film prints, we’ll finally comprehend the importance of their preservation work. I just hope they’re still there when that happens.

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